I Could Lose Myself to You

This doodle is a scene that probably will never be in Shadow Guardians, though I wouldn’t mind finding a way to work it in. :] Eeeek. I… love it. :] FLUFFEH! Like, so sweet it gives you cavities fluffeh.

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When one knew eternity stretched so far ahead, it was easy to spend much time simply sharing company. Back then, time was limited – forever was infinitely shorter. People scrambled, grappled. They fought to find the other half and often settled out of desperation. Finite time caused for such mistakes.

In the Shadow Realm, no such rush plagued. When one had eternity, there was no reason not to savor every moment. Georgie couldn’t be certain if she would always be at Noah’s side. Such an existence was as unpredictable as one spent alive. Certainly, though, she knew she’d quite like to.

Fingers entwined, Noah ushered her into the observatory and closed the door behind them. When she moved towards the window, though, he tightened his grip and tugged her back to him. Stumbling, she fell back against him and from this position, she felt, rather than heard, the rumble of his laughter in his chest.

“So controlled by routine,” her murmured, his voice low, his laugh loud.

Georgie blinked as she straightened and eyed him. “Are we breaking the habit?”

At her question, a smile formed, slow, upon his face. His eyes were intense as they found hers. She shivered when his free hand brushed aside a lock of her hair from her cheek.

“We could do to shake up the routine.”

His low voice caressed her heart and left a trail of ghostly finger tips along her chest. Sucking in her breath, Georgie watched Noah’s face. They had forever, but this moment… The tension grew palpable, anxiety danced in her toes. Again, Noah’s thumb stroked her cheek, the motion slower, deliberated. Fire leapt in her stomach.

“I’m not sure what it is about you,” he whispered, the sound barely a breath of air. “It’s… It’s not like I was never attracted to anyone else but… you… You… twist me around.”

Georgie knew it was irrational for jealousy to clutch her chest, but logic did nothing against its tight grip. Of course she was not the first. There had been Becca, of course. And before her, probably others. For that matter, maybe there had been others before her, here in the Shadow Realm. Yet, something so petty in matter swelled her heart in pain unjustified. Foolish, she chastised. All that matters is now.

“I want you to… I want you to be the last, Gee.” His murmur burst into urgency, the look in his face no longer gentle but stricken.

Her heart stirred and her body tingled. She knew this well – he tried to so hard to play cool, but emotion sized him, got the better of him and spilled forth in an outburst. At this, she smiled. His loss of composure comforted her jealous heart. Such a tell-tale sign.

“Don’t jump so far ahead,” whispered Georgie. “We… we’ve got forever. Literally. Forever.”

Panic. Confusion. She watched the flicker of his face, all the while she wore a tender smile. Did he not understand? Her lips parted, but she was given no chance to explain. His hand released hers and fumbled for her waist. The motion was jerky and he simultaneously stepped back against the door and tugged her close.

“What’s forever if I can’t fully enjoy it?” he asked, his whisper haggard.

The wrench in her heart took Georgie by surprise, but it was probably the look in his eyes which turned her to ice. Was he scared? Sad? Hurt? She couldn’t stand that. Even still – he spoke of such intimacy, of something so serious. There was no reason to rush. No cause for headstrong, recklessness. What was so wrong with just enjoying time, just taking comfort in each other’s presence. With all of forever before them, why did they have to scramble, to fumble, to rush something so beautiful, when they could take time and savor every moment?

“Can’t you enjoy forever now?” She didn’t expect her voice to crack. “Isn’t this good enough for you? Us… this…”

His laughter was hollow, but Georgie’s focus was on the way Noah held her chin, cradled in his thumb and forefinger.

“You’ve got no idea. Of course! God, of course. But… God, Gee. My… my patience… and us. Tension… Sometimes I just… I want to…”

Breath held, Georgie watched Noah search for the words. He looked so helpless, so frustrated, with his forehead wrinkled like that, his nose scrunched, his lips set in that pout. Again, fire swallowed her stomach, engulfed her whole. A tremble shook her finger as she lift it and Noah’s search ceased. The tip of her finger tingled, whether an effect of his mouth or boldness, she didn’t know. In their silence, her eyes fell shut, lashes fluttered against her cheeks, as she gently traced his pillowy lips. Like his caress, her motions were slow, deliberated, as her finger followed the gentle curves and dips of his mouth.

Georgie imagined the building pressure within her might be leaning towards combustion.

When his lips formed around her finger tip, she gasped, a sharp exhale. Even with her eyes closed, she sensed his chuckle around the kiss.

And then, with a groan, Noah pushed her finger away and tugged her, again, to him. Before she had a chance to react, his hands cradled her face, fingers tangled back in her hair. Their ragged breath match each others’, mingled as he touched his forehead against hers. It shamed her to be so corny, but more than anything, Georgie loved how his whispered “Gee” reverberated in her heart and tickled her cheek.

She did want it. In that moment, more than anything, she wanted it.

His kiss lingered upon her forehead, his lips not budging, and her heart raced in her throat.

“Noah,” she breathed.

His arms, tight around her, were secure and promising as they crushed her against him. They had all of forever – eternity stretched before them.

But Georgie understood the race, the rush. Their hearts thrummed against each other and their fingers trembled with yearning. They fumbled their touch, their trace, their search. Noah’s arms around her filled her with promise, though

After all. They had all of forever.